One other 12 months is about to be consigned to the dustbin of historical past however earlier than the clock runs out, let’s check out the worst takes of 2024!
AI boosters
If you already know something in regards to the Macalope, you knew this was going to be in right here.
First was the refrain of individuals who mentioned “Apple is behind on AI”! When firms are dashing merchandise to market that don’t have any discernible income path, routinely present outcomes which might be fallacious and even harmful and are constructed upon stolen info, one wonders if this isn’t one thing you ought to be “behind” on. Possibly subsequent 12 months we’ll hear about how Apple’s behind on constructing the Torment Nexus.
As if this no-legged stool wasn’t a questionable sufficient place to take a seat your butt on, we had analysts who claimed this miracle of science would spur a smartphone super-cycle, boosting gross sales and income for any firm that was in a position to ship this life-changing know-how.
That didn’t occur.
Nonetheless, a couple of firm creating an AI pin had gobs of enterprise capital cash shot at them out of a t-shirt canon. And the way did that prove?
“The Worst Product I’ve Ever Reviewed… For Now”
Simply months after the hype fizzle, individuals are questioning if AI is even going to have the ability to get any higher anytime quickly. Seems the “wait and see” strategy may need been the good one. Shock.
Nonetheless, there are some AI takes we are able to agree on. A number of AI executives complained this 12 months that they’ll’t make their product except they’ve free entry to copyrighted materials. Nice! We’re in settlement! You received’t make your product and we’ll maintain our copyrighted materials! Glad we had this chat.
AI itself
Talking of dangerous takes and AI, how in regards to the dangerous takes AI itself delivered in 2024?
Google’s AI, simply for example, steered individuals eat glue and rocks. OK, that’s only one occasion. As a counterpoint, when requested when you might use gasoline to cook dinner spaghetti quicker, its reply was an emphatic “No!”
If it had solely stopped there.
No, you may’t use gasoline to cook dinner spaghetti quicker, however you need to use gasoline to make a spicy spaghetti dish.
No! No, you may’t! OK, the Macalope has by no means drunk gasoline, however he’s fairly positive it’s not going to make a dish “spicier”.
Apple Intelligence was not proof against such flights of… nope, not “fancy”… nothing “fancy” about placing gasoline in your spaghetti. That’s shack residing. How about “flights of flimflamery”?
Sure, Apple Intelligence incorrectly steered that the alleged murderer of the CEO of United Healthcare had killed himself.
And nonetheless Tim Prepare dinner says he loves summaries.
IDG
Apple’s advert division
Apple’s advert division’s first gaffe this 12 months was the notorious “Crush” advert. It was supposed to point all the good, artistic issues you are able to do with an iPad. The one downside was it sort of despatched a combined message by actually crushing all of these issues in a large industrial hydraulic press.
Metaphors. How do they work?
Apple even moist as far as to concern an apology for that one.
Then, simply final month, Apple ran a number of Apple Intelligence advertisements that includes individuals utilizing AI to compensate for his or her obnoxious persona flaws. Message: “Are you a jerk? Have we acquired an answer for you!”
May need wished to run that by one other overview.
The U.S. Division of Justice
Whereas the Macalope will surely say Apple may gain advantage from a bit legislative steerage in how one can conduct a few of its affairs (cough App Retailer cough), the go well with towards the corporate introduced by the U.S. Division of Justice again in March wrecks itself earlier than it checks itself. Decrying Apple’s supposed domination of the auto business with CarPlay after which taking credit score for all of Apple’s successes as a result of it took motion towards Microsoft within the early 2000s are apparently issues you may write with out exploding from a lethal buildup of nonsensium. Who knew?
GM doubles down
It was 2023 when GM introduced that it was eschewing CarPlay, even going as far as to say it was for “security” causes. However the firm apparently remains to be making an attempt to eat its personal pet food which will not be a metaphor. A few of their actions generally make you suppose they could really be consuming pet food, cat meals, no matter occurs to simply be sitting there after they’re hungry.
Regardless of dropping two key executives, together with Apple’s former head of Cloud Companies, Mike Abbott, after which shedding greater than 1,000 software program engineers, GM says that is all a part of its grand plan of “daring selections” to personal the person expertise.
Properly, you already know what they are saying. You broke it…
Tim Sweeney
Final however not least is Epic CEO Tim Sweeney. Oh, not for something he mentioned about his firm’s battle with Apple over making an attempt to set its personal app retailer up on iOS, though we might in all probability get one or two gems out of that mess, too.
No, his worst take of the 12 months is when he complained in regards to the time his MacBook acquired stolen and he might see the place it was due to Tremendous My.
This function is tremendous creepy surveillance tech and shouldn’t exist. Years in the past, a child stole a Mac laptop computer out of my automobile. Years later, I used to be testing Discover My and it confirmed a map with the home the place the child who stole my Mac lived. WTF Apple? How is that okay?!
It’s left as much as the reader to determine if he simply hates something Apple makes or is so drunk on libertarianism that when somebody steals his laptop computer he simply says “I’ve been bested within the market of getting issues whereas the getting is nice! Good for him!”
These are the worst takes of 2024. Can’t wait to see what 2025 brings!
I feel.
